Behind the curtain

 

I don't care what they say, everybody knows the absolute best stories always begin..."Okay, so this one time backstage."

 

I have been involved in theatre for over half a century and have watched both the bad and the good.  My favorite mantra is walking into a show and saying, "Impress me."  However, I want to be entertained, not have my social conscience raised.

 

Oscar Wilde, said in his 1889 essay The Decay of Lying, "Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life". Oscar pushed his current events, man's struggles, and the life he knew.  Today, we have more choices, more theatre, and a chance to see life like we know it or life as someone else takes it in.  I am a fan of unpredictability in the performances.  The formula for a situation comedy that recurs in so many shows is ridiculous and makes me mad that I paid for the ticket. A great show has a great plot, high energy, and actors that push themselves to be better than they have been before.  Directors, actors and crew must really involve themselves and love what they are doing to create an artistic piece that the audience enjoys.  You really have to love theatre to be involved because it is an unmerciful life.  To enjoy a show it had better be as good as the price of the show, the dinner before, and the costs of the babysitter as well.

 

Cue Curtain...

"Behind the Curtain Chaos"

As the curtains rise on the opening night of our production, the audience is unaware of the mounting chaos backstage. The Backstage Curmudgeon, a veteran backstage manager, is a master at keeping everything running smoothly. However, on this fateful night, everything that can go wrong, does.

 

A Missing Leading Actor: Just minutes before the show, the leading actor playing the male lead falls ill. Panic ensues as the Curmudgeon races against time to find a replacement from the understudies. One of the main understudies is in the wrong dressing room listening to her charismatic boyfriend tell tales of his life. The other is listening on headsets to a podcast on how to be a better actor.

 

Set Malfunctions: The intricately designed set, meant to be a dazzling backdrop for the musical, experiences a series of technical malfunctions. Pieces are falling over, and the lighting cues are off, creating a disjointed visual experience. One diva refuses to move as the metal baton drops towards her.  As the Curmudgeon pulls her away to safety, she is appalled with what she perceives to be anger and meanness.

 

Wardrobe Malfunctions: Wardrobe malfunctions plague the cast – costumes tearing, shoes disappearing, and wigs slipping at the most inopportune moments.

 

Sound and Lighting Issues: The soundboard crashes, plunging the theater into silence, and the lighting console shorts out, causing abrupt, blinding flashes on stage.

 

A Distracted Stagehand: One of the stagehands, under enormous pressure, accidentally drops a prop on stage, causing a domino effect of mishaps.

 

Amidst this backstage chaos, this Curmudgeon’s frustration escalates. He juggles the demands of a furious narcissist director as everything that can possibly go wrong behind the scenes continues to unravel.

 

As the night progresses, The Backstage Curmudgeon’s patience is tested to the limit, but his determination to see the production through prevails. The story weaves a narrative of resilience, resourcefulness, and the indomitable spirit of the theater community, highlighting the unwavering dedication of those who work behind the scenes to bring magic to the stage.

 

The Backstage Curmudgeon explores the notion that, in the face of adversity, the show must go on, and those behind the scenes are the unsung heroes who make it happen. Every story is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, offering a glimpse into the frenetic world of theater production and the relentless pursuit of art despite all odds.

 

Thank you to all the backstage heroes who make a show possible.

Now close the curtain and get off my lawn.